when the dust settles…

It’s 5:45…exactly 24 hours ago, I was sitting at the island in our kitchen, working as I always do. The quiet, the calm, the sunrising over the mountains, kissing the rooftoops of the homes below.

I tell my husband how I am loving and hating DOMS……delayed onset muscle soreness….I kicked my own butt on Monday. I am back to teaching fitness classes, woop woop! This break from the fitness GRIND, was a hiatus that I needed for my mind…but my body is feeling the absence from killing it in a group, plyometrics, high intensity, and intervals.

As he pours a coffee, I say to him…..
“when things slow down, and stop being so crazy, I want to………………..
SILENCE.
COMPLETE SILENCE
I stop myself in my own tracks, he asks….”are you going to finish your sentence?”
My response…
“THAT is total BULLSHIT. I do not have to wait for things to slow down, or calm down…..” What am I waiting for?
I CHOOSE how I live my life.
I GET to create the moments, with myself, my family and all around me.

THOSE ‘stolen’ moments of connection with my husband, when we hold hands and look into each others eyes for ‘reel’ as the kids play about, or when he brings me a wild flower from his morning walk because it’s purple and he thought of me….Snuggling on the couch and watching Johnny draw, wrestling with William, and being the goalie for Matt.

THOSE are kinds of moments that I want to fill up my life. Because when I FEEL full, of love, life, connection, the rest of my life feels that way too…..I don’t numb, there is distracting behaviours, I am just ME.

I know, I get it….I am not talking about living life in a fairytale, oblivious to the responsibility and practicality. YES, I run the household, YES, I still have to work, and I freaking love it….the impact on womens life, following my dream, and living in the space that I have created.

But when I think about the WHEN/END the IF/THEN games….I need to be curious and challenge those thoughts….what is really holding me back? Do I really need to wait for the dust to settle?

TIME IS A THING…or is it?

I remember my Dad telling me as he got older, and his health was failing, “time flies so fast, with every passing year”. I thought it was because he was sick…..turns out he was just RIGHT!

If we play the game…when the TIME is right, when things slow down, when I have the energy, will IT ever really happen? What are you missing out on? What bliss, joy, happiness, excitement, connection, calm, freedom are you not getting to experience because you are on AUTO PILOT?

I am asking you in this moment….
how do you want to feel, in this life that you live…..

I know for me, living in AUTOPILOT was like this…
one day blended into the next…
so much packed into the schedule…
of course there was amazing moments, and truly moments I have no recollection, cuz I was just there in body….going through the motions.
MOVING so fast to the next thing.

I am going back to I DON’T HAVE TIME…
every single day we are given the gift of 24 hours…..
the only certainty we have…..
the sun rises and sets everyday,
on the days you open your eyes,
put your feet on the floor, the ground, and this sweet earth…
it’s another gift given to you.

I ask you, I invite you to PAUSE, CHOOSE in this moment to see,
to feel that the DUST has SETTLED already….
CREATE that, be that, KNOW that!!
WHAT do you desire? How do you want to live your life?

My wants/desires shift…right now, I am craving CONNECTION like crazy. Connection with myself in this beautiful life that is unfolding for me, as I build, create, and empower. I also want the true conversational kind, the in person kind, the kind that turns inwards with myself. So at 6:00am yesterday morning, I messaged a friend of mine who I have missed like crazy, love her energy, her sweetness, her confidence…and we set up a Facetime….

I did not wait for the DUST TO SETTLE….we were up past 11pm, so late for me, but so worth it. It felt like I was back in highschool chatting with my bestie.

I went to to bed heart full, and my soul nourished, with the girlfriend connection.
Once again, we cannot be everything to everybody all the time. But we can create the life we live, by turning those ‘stolen’ moments into ‘chosen’ moments. And let me tell you it feels amazing the more CHOSEN moments we live.

The dust is clear for you to…trust me, if not TRY IT…..what do you have to lose? Well actually thats another blogpost.

LIVE your life today, without reservation, wonder and be curious about how you want to spend this DAY of your life. AND then tell me about it, message me.

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